Personal Growth

 When I think about how I have grown from this class, I immediately think of a small thing that I have seen improvement on. It might even sound silly, but I am proud of myself for making progress in this way. 

Prior to this class, I thought of myself as fairly comfortable with the internet. I had used Twitter, Google Classroom, even Blackboard for teaching community college courses. But something I had never used before was apps like Flipgrid and Voicethread. 

I am a fairly tactile learner when it comes to the internet. If I can't figure something out, I tend to research until I can. If I hit a wall, I ask my husband (he is far more stubborn than me and more tech-savvy). But I like to find solutions. 

However, the first time I recorded a video response for Flipgrid, I remembered something: I hate the way my voice sounds on recordings! I watched my video back, immediately feeling self-conscious.  Did my voice really sound like that? Why did my skin look so red and blotchy? And why was I fidgeting so much and saying "umm"? 

I knew the answer to the last question: I was nervous. I knew what I wanted to say, but I was not used to being on camera, basically on the spot, while saying it. And the timer went by so fast! How was I going to condense my responses into a minute or less? 

But with every week that went by, I found myself more and more comfortable with being on camera. I watched my classmates' responses and found that most were probably as nervous as I was. I began writing down notes, the broad strokes of what I wanted to say. This really helped! After a while, I found that I felt a small sense of accomplishment when I went to click "post" and the video came out the way I wanted it to. I even felt myself talking more naturally, and looking less at my notes as I recorded. 

I believe that this was a case of "exposure therapy." The more I was required to record myself, the more comfortable I became with it - I just had to do it a few times and get over that initial discomfort. Once I did, I became less self-conscious and more used to seeing and hearing myself on video. 

Now, recording my voice for my final project, I can tell that my confidence has increased. This is going to allow me to keep using new technology and resources for my future classroom. Even if I am unfamiliar with them at first - and even if it involves listening to myself speak on camera or microphone - I know I will be able to utilize what I need to to ensure my students have an optimal learning experience.